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10 things I have Learnt From My Friend, Murphy.

My friend Murphy, is of Murphy’s Law. If anything can go wrong, it will. If anything cannot go wrong, it will anyway. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 

Here is my list from the last 6 weeks of my experience with Mr. Murphy (who I blame entirely for everything).

Week One to Present Day: My healthy, fit husband decides to get his knee looked at, after suffering from on and off pain for the last several months. Presumably, from a ski accident. The doctor says, “it’s a bakers cyst” and the need for physio therapy becomes apparent. A couple weeks later, the pain intensifies until he can no longer put so much as a pair of socks on. Into the ER he goes, and after convincing a less-than-concerned doctor for more tests, a DVT (blood clot) the length of our two year old is discovered. No baker’s cyst. A series of events follows. This happens as I am beginning my new job.

We think about the seriousness  of this incident and how thankful we are we caught it in time. Recovery process begins. We start to clear our heads.

Week Two to Week Four: My beautiful sister-in-law flies out from no-man land to come and visit and help us with Mr.T and Little A, while I am starting work again and am dealing with hubby’s condition. All is well in the world. We are being lavished in her company and the boys are enjoying their Aunt.

I am in my second week of work, it is a warm Tuesday afternoon. I decide to check my cell phone and discover while it has been on silent mode for the better part of the day, that I have missed six phones calls, seconds and minutes apart. Far from a pocket dial, I sense something is wrong. I call my husband, and in his hysteria he has informed me with confusion that his sister has suffered a seizure and is on the way to the hospital via ambulance. I shudder, a seizure? He spins by my office to pick me up and we frantically head over to the hospital where she has been rushed.

Several hours and hysterical phone calls later, we have a diagnosis. She had suffered sudden death syndrome. This effects less than 1% of the population, and less than 1% survive the sudden cardiac death. She is only 36, but she made it.

After surgery and an emotional rollercoaster, she begins to mend and returns back home to her family a few provinces away, this is on a Thursday.

I return to work on Monday.

Week Five to Week 6: Saturday morning we receive a phone call letting us know that my husbands’ father has been taken into emergency and has suffered a stroke. We give it a few days as the nurses recommend to wait it out and see how he will fair. By Tuesday, he has suffered another stroke and we decide it is time for us to make the drive, as he likely won’t survive. Wednesday we leave, and halfway through our 14 hour drive, he passes away. We spend a week recollecting ourselves, and dealing with the aftermath of not one, but three intensely upsetting events.  On the looong drive home, we were delayed for 9 hours because of two serious avalanches, seriously we just wanted to get home!

We return home. All is well in the world.

10 things I have learnt in the past 6 weeks, thanks to my friend Murphy.

#1. Be prepared to face tribulations, even when things are looking pretty swell. I have learnt that thinking positive goes along way-BUT being realistic is a necessity in survival.

#2. IF something just doesn’t seem quite right.…GET IT LOOKED AFTER. My wonderful hubby waited from March 2011 until December before he checked out his knee, he lived with a serious DVT and increased his risks exponentially.

#3. If you feel like you should do something because time is of the essence DO IT. There is nothing like feeling regret in a tragic situation.

#4. Say “I love you” in the morning, and in the afternoon, “I love you” in the evening, and underneath the moon. Say it, Mean it, Live it. Life is unexpected, too short, too precious.

#5. Don’t put off what you can do now for later. Later may never come.

#6. Laugh a little more. In all the tragedies, crisis we have faced in this miniscule time frame, we have learnt that the power of a gut busting laugh, is as healing as a good solid cry.

#7. That being said, CRY. Even if you want to be strong for someone else, strength comes from compassion and empathy. It’s ok to feel what someone else is feeling.

#8. Keep thinking positive while realistic expectations prepare us for what may actually come, positive thinking prepares us with how to deal with it.

#9. It’s ok to freak the “bleep” out. Calm composure is only good when you need to perform CPR, freaking out let’s you be human.

#10. Above all else, think about what you want to leave behind. I say this often, but what legacy, story, memory do you want trailed after you? I know it wasn’t my husband and sister-in-law’s time, but they would have left us with something amazing, can we all say the same for ourselves?


About markella

I am a freelance writer with a creative flare for life. I see inspiration in all that I encounter and have a thirst for knowledge, life, running, cooking, being outdoors, my incredible family and of course taking pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. I spend much of my time as a student in life, learning from kids and all the wonder that surrounds us. I believe in always asking questions, even when nobody else will. l love the bountiful Okanagan Valley, where I call home and anticipate each season, as creativity and inspiration take their form all over the place here. I love the clinche saying, "You've made your bed, now lie in it." I believe we create our paths and determine our futures. Maya Angelou puts it simple and exact, " Be present in all things and thankful for all things."


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